Commander X's date
by windwingxs
Summary: completed. X gets promoted to commander, and asks Alia out on a date. But when Sigma tries to get back at X, things get a little hairy for our heros. Please read it , and review if you care to.
1. dinner

This story was inspired by a flash film on megaman-universe, called 'A big black guy named Bass'. I do not own said film, and I do not own X, Alia, Sigma, Sigma's goons, or poor Axl and Zero(you'll see). The character's belong to Capcom. happens just before 'Command Mission' starts.  
  
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X had just got promoted. This was bad for Zero on several counts. First, it gave X authority. Second, it gave X bragging rights. Third, it made X his boss. And finally, reason number four was that Signas would give him a 'commanders' vehicle(which included 'pimped out' rims, a stereo the size of Manhattan, and various weapon systems), which was great for picking up girls. The last part was the worst by far.  
  
"I really don't see WHY you bothered to bring me along X. I mean, it's just a date with Alia! It's not like your going to be swarmed by mavericks!"  
  
"Zero, you know that Sigma still hold's a grudge against us. He might try something! Besides, you don't have anything better to do, do you?" X gripped the steering wheel of his new 'commanders' SUV a little harder.  
  
"Actually, I did have something planned!" Zero lied, trying to get out of the job.  
  
"Well, was it more important that your job?" X raised his eyebrows.  
  
"No..." Zero grimaced in defeat. 'I'll get you back for this X. Just you wait.'  
  
X pulled into Alia's drive way, almost running over said woman's cat. "Oops! Sorry about that patches!" The cat hissed at X. "Mou, I think her cat hates me..."  
  
"No, she just doesn't like people trying to get me out of the house." Alia smiled at X, but frowned when she saw Zero in the back. "Uh, to what do I owe the pleasure of Zero's company?"  
  
"He's just here to guard the car." X got out of the car and opened the passenger door for Alia.  
  
"Thank you X. Where are we going for our date?"  
  
"We'll, he's planning on taking you out to 'Strings'. Some fancy Italian restaurant. After that, he's planning on going to a movie of your choice, then going out to watch the sun set on the beach, where he'll probably propose marriage or something."  
  
"Zero! You just ruined all the surprises!" X pouted in the driver's seat, the car door still open. Suddenly, Alia's cat jumped in the car and started using X as a scratching post. This incited mass panic inside of the car.  
  
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After X recovered from the cat incident, the trio drove over to the coast. X and Alia left Zero in the car with the cat.  
  
"Mou." Zero complained. "Oh well, at least I didn't get stuck guarding X's quarters..." (at X's house, Axl sneezed.) Zero pulled out his GBA, and started playing Metroid Fusion. "Well, at least I won't be bored." Zero had no idea how right he was.  
  
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Sigma was not happy. He had been defeated for the 7th time straight! "Yeah. I'd say I'm not happy, ya stupid author guy!"  
  
"Sigma, who are you talking to?" Miscellaneous Maverick 1 asked.  
  
"The author, of course! Now get back to work!" Sigma pointed at a nearby 'Pre-Sigma-boss' maverick.  
  
"Yes sir!" Misc. Maverick 1,598 scurried off to help build the machine.  
  
"Hmm... I need a way to get back at X. He just got promoted. I could use that... Yes... Yes... YES!" Sigma screamed out at last, scaring the daylight our of all the nearby Misc. Mavericks.  
  
"W-What is it sir?" Misc. Maverick 274 asked.  
  
"I have a mission for those of you daring enough to accept it!" Sigma stood and pointed out eight Mavericks. "You eight! Your all promoted to level bosses! Go steal some eggs, and attack X's house with them!"  
  
The entire base sweat dropped.  
  
"What? My new body isn't complete yet, and if we tried to attack right now, we'd just get our faces kicked in again!" Sigma waved his incomplete arms around, throwing a few chips and wires out of them. "Dang it! Someone get over here and fix me! And you eight freaks had better COVER X's house with egg, and see if you can steal his car too!"  
  
"Yes sir!" The eight Mavericks ran off, giggling like girls.  
  
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Axl sat in front of X's house, polishing his guns. "Why did I get pulled into this? So lame!" Axl shot a nearby rock for fun. "Stupid! Stupid- stupid-stupid!" He was about to just leave when an egg smacked him in the head. Egg poured down his face, enraging him. "WHO THE HECK THREW THAT! GET OUT HERE YOU STUPID FREAKS!"  
  
Four Mavericks came out of hiding, all holding egg cartons. "HA! We are Sigma's minions, and we come to egg and Tee-Pee X's house!" They suddenly realized who they were speaking to. "Oh... Crap..."  
  
Axl went berserk, and fired his pistols of at an insane rate. The four Mavericks screamed and ran away. Axl gave chase.  
  
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Zero had left X's car for only a moment to get some Burger King. He pushed open the door and walked inside, only to cover his ear's from the screams.  
  
"IT'S ZERO!" A few of the girls in the restaurant glomped onto Zero.  
  
"Ow. Could you please get your hand out of my face? Hey! Stop that!" Zero stumbled backward, a woman pulling on his hair. "ARRG!" Zero shoved himself into the counter. "I'd like a triple cheese burger, extra large fries, and a large chocolate milkshake to go. OW!" Zero was pulled away from the counter by the fan girls again.  
  
Cries of "Will you have my baby?", "Will you be my boy friend?", and "MARRY ME!" stained Zero's ears. After Zero removed the girls from his person, he paid for his food and made a hasty exit. Upon his return to the car, he sat in the driver's seat, eating his burger and attempting to not drip sauce on the leather seats. His dinner was interrupted by the sound of four masked Reploids approaching the car. Zero raised his eyebrows and got our of the car. He then noticed the fact that they were holding crowbars.  
  
"HEY! GET AWAY FROM THE CAR!" Zero yelled pulling out the Z Saber.  
  
"Who the...?" The four Mavericks prepared for a fight, only to turn and run for their lives when Zero stepped into the light. "RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!" Zero gave chase.  
  
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X and Alia were having a wonderful time at dinner. Everything was perfect. The music, the food, the Mavericks...  
  
'Wait... THE MAVERICKS?!?' X was about to 'pop the question' when Zero and four Mavericks burst through the restaurant doors.  
  
"Get back here you sissies!" Zero yelled, slashing a nearby table in half and killing one of the four. The remaining three were still screaming like pansies. X stood, firing a charge shot at two of them. They had little time to dodge the blast, and were ripped apart (along with the wall and tables behind them). The final one was caught by Zero. "OK! What did you want with X's car?"  
  
"Sigma told us to! Sigma told us to!" Misc. Maverick 100,384,281 screamed. Zero cut him in half.  
  
"Sorry 'bout that X. They tried to steal your car." Zero put away his saber and walked out like nothing happened.  
  
"O... kay... Everything WAS perfect..." X hung his head.  
  
"It's okay X." Alia patted his shoulder. "I understand. Want to go to the movie now?"  
  
X sighed. "Sure." X escorted Alia out of Strings, leaving a $20,000 tip for property damage. 'Commander's pay rocks!'  
  
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End chapter 1. Hope you people laughed. It's meant to be stupid, and has absolutely no meaning. 


	2. and a movie

I do not own anything from Capcom. I'm a poor white guy in California, so leave me be. 'Holy 2x4' was first said by JJ Corly as far as I know. And Darth, yes, Sigma is stupid in this fic. He's the gayest boss ever, and he needs to die. Permanently. And actually put some time into your reviews dude! Typeing a one sentence blurb shows absolutely nothing. anyway, on with the story.  
  
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Axl was still chasing Sigma's goons. Two of them had hijacked a Mustang, while the other two were still on foot. He was tempted to have Zero help him, but as usual, he wanted to prove himself to X. He'd chase the other's down later. The two on foot were none other than Cake Fruity and Blade Saw(who looked similar to CutMan, amazingly).  
  
"Fruit! Hurry up!" Blade yelled to his companion.  
  
"I can't! You know how fat I am!" He complained. Fruit suddenly fell to the ground from exhaustion. "Go on without me Blade! You always were the better fighter! Besides, I'm tired of making and eating cake!"  
  
"Never! We'll make a stand together! We shall defeat our oppressors!"  
  
The two continued with the melodramatics even after Axl had caught up to them. Axl brought out his handy-dandy rocket launcher and fired at them. The rocket impacted Fruit in the face, ending his semi-evil existence.  
  
"NOOOOO!!" Blade fell to his knees crying.  
  
"He hit me with eggs. I don't like that." Axl still had a psychotic look in his eyes. "You hit me with eggs too. I don't like that either. What are you going to do about it?"  
  
"Sit here and cry like a sissy?" Blade asked, almost innocently.  
  
"Try dying." Axl fired again, destroying the Maverick. "Now to find some transportation..." Axl spied a nearby motor bike that's owner had conveniently left running. "Good enough."  
  
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Zero was now playing chauffeur for X and Alia, and was enjoying the privilege. Especially since now HE controlled the stereo.  
  
"Zero, you know I hate classical. Please, can you change the station?" X was almost begging.  
  
"Sorry X, but since I'm in the driver's seat, I control the radio. You said so yourself earlier." Zero smiled gleefully. "Besides, I still owe you for getting me wrapped up into this!" Zero hit the accelerator.  
  
X and Alia screamed as the car accelerated past 100 MPH. "Zero! Cut that out right now, or you get the cat treatment!" Alia screamed.  
  
"What? I can't hear you over Bach!" Zero yelled. X and Alia grabbed the cat and shoved it in Zero's lap, which turned into a scratching post for said animal. "ARG! CAT CLAWS! OW-OW-OW-OW-OW!!" The car swerved out of control, causing everyone to scream even more. Eventually, Zero regained control of the car and turned down the music. They arrived at the movie theater without any other incidents.  
  
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Sigma Watched in horror as videos of his men being destroyed by that confounded trio of hunters. "YOU STUPID BLUE JERK! I CAN'T EVEN TEE-PEE YOUR HOUSE WITHOUT ONE OF YOUR CRONIES SHOWING UP! GR!!!" Sigma pounded the console in front of him, causing more of his body to fall off. "You! Misc. Maverick 4,251! Come over here and fix me! And you four! You've all been promoted to level bosses as well! Get out there and wreck X's date! I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE IF IT KILLS ME!!"  
  
The four Mavericks that had been promoted shuddered. They had all been Italian and Spanish artists before they were infected...  
  
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X escorted Alia into the theater. She had chosen to watch 'A walk to remember'(Hey! It was actually a good movie for a chick flick), which X was clueless about. X, having thought ahead, reserved the entire theater for just her(which had cost a lot). Only the concession stand was open, which was staffed by four strange looking Reploids.  
  
"Hola senior! What can I do four you?" The Reploid at the cash register asked.  
  
"We need a bucket of popcorn, and two cokes." X said, sliding them the appropriate amount of credits.  
  
"Gracias senior. Hey Mario, Tony, get the popcorn ready!"  
  
"We-sa gonna get on it right away, ya know?" Mario spoke in a 'god- father' accent.  
  
Not twenty seconds later, two cokes and a bucket of popcorn were produced. X and Alia walked into the theater, not even worried in the slightest at who the Reploids were.  
  
"Mario, did you's putta da stuff in da popcorn?" Tony asked.  
  
"Yeah. I only got half of it inta the popcorn. We'd better split before they get too loony!" The group hurried out of the building, leaving X and Alia to their movie, and the concession stand people to their headaches.  
  
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Signas looked over the control room. All the support staff had failed to show up. AGAIN. "Guess I'm working alone tonight." He put his feet up on his console, pulling a random magazine out of thin air. "Gotta love fisherman's monthly."  
  
Signas was totally zoned out when Axl burst into the command center decked out in biker attire. "Sup boss?" Signas was gazing upon the brand new GFX-473 reel, ogling over it's smooth design. Axl could have sworn he was drooling. "Oh well. Let's see, how does Alia work this thing?" He hit a few keys, and the position of every known maverick was displayed. The two he had been chasing were headed back to Sigma's new fortress. Axl grinned "Look's like Siggies got a new play-place!"  
  
Signas, suddenly shaken out of his stupor, screamed. "DON'T EVER SNEAK UP ON ME LIKE THAT EVER AGAIN!"  
  
"Hey! I said hello! You were to busy drooling to notice!" Axl walked out of the room, but not before he grabbed several weapons.  
  
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"Uh, Alia? Is it just me, or is Mandy Moore walking on the roof?" X asked.  
  
"What? I could have sworn that we were watching 'A walk to remember', but it looks like a really bad bootleg of Godzilla! I mean, look! The color's are all messed up!"  
  
X blinked, trying to re-focus. 'Must have been the bow noodles at the restaurant...' he though.  
  
Alia's head was swimming. "Man... X, you look handsome tonight..." Her speech was slurred, but she didn't notice.  
  
X, however, did. He performed a self scan, and found high amounts of paint in his systems. He assumed Alia was under the influence as well. To his regret, they had devoured the popcorn all to quickly. He suddenly felt like he had been hit with a holy 2 by 4. After a few minutes, his system quarantined the paint, as did Alia's. "Okay, note to self, never trust anyone who sounds like they came from 'the Godfather'."  
  
"Amen to that..." Alia shook her head. The movie had come to a close, both of them missing it in their drugged up state. "Guess we should head to the beach."  
  
X nodded, leading her out of the theater. Zero was nowhere to be found, having spotted two Mavericks speeding off in a mustang. He had left a note in X's car saying that he wanted them to enjoy themselves at the beach.  
  
"How nice of him. We should thank him later!" Alia smiled, clinging to X's arm. 'It's been a really good date, with the exception of the Mavericks trying to ruin it. Maybe I should kiss him tonight!' She smiled and blushed.  
  
"Shall we get going?" X opened her door for her.  
  
"Sure!" Alia smiled at X, and sat in the passenger's seat. The two drove off, headed toward the beach. Unbeknownst to them, they had an extra passenger besides Alia's cat...  
  
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Zero was screaming down the highway on his hover cycle, in hot pursuit of a Mustang that had six occupants. All presumed to be Mavericks. Before he could catch up to them, they turned off on a exit, leaving Zero to swerve into on coming traffic and off the road to get a head start on them. He stopped after he saw where they were headed.  
  
"Great. Sigma's playing his tricks again. EVERY SINGLE FREAKING TIME WE BEAT HIM HE DOES THIS KIND OF JUNK!" Zero shook his fist at the floating fortress. "SCREW YOU SIGMA!! ZERO'S COMING DISFIGURE YOUR FACE PERMANENTLY THIS TIME!" Axl, who had caught up to Zero by that time, yelled in agreement. "What are you doing here?"  
  
"They attacked X's house and hit me with an egg. They die for this." Axl gritted his teeth.  
  
"Sure. Whatever. Let's go kill some Mavericks." Zero gunned his engine, and raced off toward Sigma's fortress, closely followed by Axl. On a beach somewhere nearby, X and Alia were staring at the sunset...  
  
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Revenge is a sweet thing! Be sure to tune in next time for more fun with beating up Sigma and his men! 


	3. the sunset and poetry

Final chapter of the date! Will X ask Alia to marry him on the beach? Will Zero and Axl beat the crap out of Sigma?(YES) Capcom owns X, Alia, Zero, Axl, and the very gay Sigma. Have a nice day. Sigma is gay! DIE!!!  
  
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Misc. Maverick 24 was working on the front gate of Sigma's flying fortress. He could have sworn he heard the sound of a biker gang approaching... Zero cut his head off before he could look, however.  
  
"Easy enough." Zero shook his head.  
  
"Yeah. Usually, there's more of a fight to get in these places." Axl jumped off his bike and waved Zero on. "Ladies first!"  
  
"Shut-up, Kid." Zero dashed into the fortress, blade drawn. The Mavericks inside would never stand a chance...  
  
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X and Alia were on the beach, watching the sunset. X smiled at Alia, who was hypnotized by the sun. Her blond hair was gently caressed by the wind, and the sounds of the sea soothed her mind. X's hand touched hers softly, and she wrapped her hand around his in return. X blushed slightly at the sudden growth of affection, but was calm enough to hide it. Alia sighed contentedly, gazing out at the receding sun. The pink and lavender swirls surrounding the sun were beginning to fade into darkness, but it seemed as though God himself was holding the sun at the horizon for them.  
Alia suddenly leaned on X's shoulder, almost startling the veteran. He brought his arm around Alia's shoulder, allowing her to rest there. X looked at the receding sun, only to wonder if his life would reflect the image before him...  
  
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Sigma stared at the screen in horror. Zero and Axl had cut a swath through his troops, destroying every Maverick in sight. Zero had all ready reached the first 'Pre-Sigma' boss, and had totaled the incomplete monster without hesitation. Axl would soon reach his own, but this one wasn't even HALF built!  
  
"WHY?!? I TOLD YOU PEOPLE TO BE READY! DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THE MEANING OF READY?!?" Sigma's roar busted the audio circuits in most of his troops, causing them to wander aimlessly. "BREAK OUT THE CANNON! WE'LL BLAST THEM OUT!"  
  
"BUT SIR!" Misc. Maverick 273,858,572,284 was a lip reader, so he understood Sigma even without hearing him. "The cannon isn't even complete! Besides! If we're in the air, as we currently are, then we'd come crashing down because of power loss!"  
  
"Valid points. But you see, I don't care. GET THAT CANNON READY!!!" Cause Sigma's gay, and doesn't care about his men. "I HEARD THAT! Stupid writer..."  
  
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X had been practicing the verses over and over in his head for the last ten minutes. He could never get it right, however...  
  
"X, what are you thinking about?" Alia asked him, gazing into his eyes. Now was as good a time as any...  
  
"Alia...  
  
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.  
  
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height  
  
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight  
  
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.  
  
I love thee to the level of everyday's  
  
Most quiet need, by the sun and candlelight.  
  
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;  
  
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.  
  
I love thee with the passion put to use  
  
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.  
  
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose--  
  
With my lost saints-- I love thee with the breath,  
  
Smiles, tears, of all my life!-- and, if God choose,  
  
I shall but love the better after death..."  
  
('how do I love thee' by Elizabeth Barrett Browning.)  
  
Alia had blushed throughout the poem. She had never in her life had anyone MEMORIZE poetry just for her! "X, I..." He smiled at her, and kissed her cheek. The kiss was innocent, like the love they shared...  
  
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Zero cut another 'Pre-Sigma' boss in half. The bosses, which normally were extremely hard, served only to hinder Zero's progress.  
  
"So weak, dude. So weak." Zero pulled his saber free from the wreckage. "Next stage, Sigma!" Zero smiled. Before he could leave the room however, the entire fortress began to shake.  
  
Zero pulled out a tape recorder from his armor and hit play. "Note to self: If an enemy base is shaking, is not a good sign. Ever. Kill Sigma then run like a crazy." The tape ended.  
  
"Gotta love notes." Zero ran into the next series of room, cutting down everything that got in his way. One Maverick decided to get uppity, and clamped on to Zero's head. Zero, being as calm as he usually is, grabbed it and threw it across the room. It shattered on impact. Upon reaching the end of the corridor, Zero stopped before the door labeled 'Final Door to DOOM! RUN, LITTLE CHILD! RUN!' Zero raised his eyebrows. "Yeah. Sigma's defiantly gay." He pushed open the door, only to find a giant black circle in his face. "Oh. Crap."  
  
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Unbeknownst to X and Alia, they had a spy in their midst. QuackMan, a rather duck like Reploid, had been taping the entire date.  
  
"Aflack(insert little r, c, and TM things here)! My mission will be successful! Muwahahaha! Aflack! Now to knock X out with this HOLY 2X4, like some Mafia hitman!"  
  
QuackMan made the mistake of setting the camera down on X's car, however. A balloon version of Zero popped out of the roof.  
  
"GET AWAY FROM THE CAR, Mother F^C$&@!!!"  
  
"AAAHHHH!!! AFLACK!!!!" QuackMan ran off, dropping the HOLY 2X4 in the process. X, who was half asleep at the time, turned around to see the balloon of Zero standing on the car.  
  
"Big Red Guy Named Zero." X mumbled. Before he returned to sleep, he pulled a small box out of his armor. Opening it, he took a necklace out of it and gently put it on Alia. She sighed, wrapping her arm's around X, and dreaming of their wedding day...  
  
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Axl ran through the hallways, rapidly approaching the final area of Sigma's fortress. He stopped when he found an area filled with bodies. "Yup. Zero's been here." He ran on, ignoring the groans of pain from not quite dead Reploids. He suddenly paid attention to one specific groan.  
  
"Aw... This sucks. It's just like X1! Stupid gay Sigma!" Zero's upper body complained.  
  
"Dude, Zero! You okay?" Axl knelt beside the dying Zero.  
  
"Yeah, I'll be back next game. Watch it when you open the door, he's got a gun pointed right at it. Also, tell X not to be such a jerkwad. I rea- " Zero died.  
  
"Oh well. He'll be back, like always." Axl pulled his half dead body out of the way, then knocked on the door.  
  
"Who is it?" Sigma asked.  
  
"It's Cake Fruity! Let me in!" Axl pounded on the door like a sissy.  
  
"Okay Cake. Just give me a minute to move the cannon." Axl heard the sound of movement, and the door opened. "Hey! Your not Cake! Cheater!"  
  
"Your fault for not realizing he was dead." Axl suddenly went Matrix style on Sigma, unleashing a volley of bullets on him. Since Sigma was belted into the cannon, he took every hit and screamed in pain.  
  
"You jerk! I'll be back like always! GRRR!!!" Sigma exploded.  
  
"Well, that's over." The fortress started to shake even more. "Or... Maybe not!"  
  
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X woke up when the floating fortress splashed down fifteen miles away. It exploded, reminding him of the first time he defeated Sigma. "Dang... How long will I have to fight? Stupid Mavericks. Maybe the epilog was right, and only my X Buster knows..."  
  
X heard several knocking sounds from the car. Not wanting to wake Alia, he gently picked her up and set her in the back seat. He then noticed the HOLY 2x4 and video camera.  
  
"Sigma. Crap, I knew he was up to something!" X once again heard the knocking sounds coming from the trunk. He carefully opened the trunk, and Zero fell out. "What the..."  
  
"I died." Zero grunted and stood.  
  
"Oh, okay. SO THIS IS WHERE YOU GET RE-" Zero clamped his hand over X's mouth.  
  
"No, it's just where I tried to teleport to AFTER I was rebuilt, and I wound up in your trunk. Now let's try NOT to wake up Alia." Zero removed his hand.  
  
"Okay. Where's Axl?"  
  
"He was in Sigma's fortress. He should have teleported here..." Zero looked to see Axl appear in the ocean. "Yep, there he is."  
  
"HELP! I CAN'T SWIM!" Axl was laying in the surf, waving his arms.  
  
"Oh joy. Hey X, did you ask her to marry you?"  
  
"No! I'm waiting until the second date!" X blushed.  
  
Alia woke up to find a gold necklace hanging around her neck. It had diamonds all over the pendent(which was a heart), and the chain was 24K gold laced with pure silver and emeralds. She gasped, then ran over and glomped onto X.  
  
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THE END  
  
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So... Yeah. The end of date one... I don't know if I'll make more though. Have to finish Silence of the Soul and Welcome to Existence first. Cya later. 


End file.
